There is a lot of talk and articles on what it means to live authentically. I have written many articles, done many courses and therapy sessions, and read many books on the subject.
I want to make this article clear and easy to understand in this article. I will not be going into how to become authentic or what steps are needed to become you authentically.
Still, I will break it down to what it means to live authentically. Then you can decide if that is something you want to go forward with living authentically. I have articles you can read if you wish to get deeper into this at authenticallyme2022.com.
Living authentically means to live as who you are at your essential core and living within your values and beliefs. Sounds easy, huh?
Well, as we all know, it is easier said than done. Living as your authentic self is a very individual thing to do, and as such, only you will be able to know if you are doing it or not. To live authentically, everyone needs to know some basics before determining if you are living authentically or not.
I will explain some of the factors that will determine if you are living an authentic life or not. Before you read on, though, you need to know that in most recent studies, roughly about 85% of the people in this world are not living authentically, and only 15% are. So if you read on and find out you are not living authentically, you will know you are not alone, but you are like most people in this world right now.
Through my self-discovery and becoming as authentic as possible, I have discovered that if you feel a lot of regrets about what you said or did not speak up about. How you acted, or did not act out on, or even what you were thinking but did not say anything. That is a clear sign you are not being authentic.
You will not regret being authentic, but they will be far less frequent. These regrets can be especially hard and keep you up at night and cause a ripple effect of many things that will cause anxiety, self-doubt, low self-esteem, and you find you are just losing yourself and not living life fully.
How comfortable you are is probably one of the easiest ways to know if you are not being authentic.
We all feel uncomfortable at times, but if you feel uncomfortable talking to others, speaking your mind, or even listening to others. If you are uncomfortable at doing things, starting new ideas, taking the lead, or just uncomfortable with asking for what you want, then you are not being authentic.
When you are authentic, you are confident to do what you want, ask for what you need, and say how you feel, no matter the situation or how uncomfortable the subject is. Having the confidence to follow your values and beliefs lets you do and say what you need to to be true to yourself without apologies or regrets.
It may be uncomfortable, but you will still say and do it because it is who you are and what you want!
Speak Your Truth.
When you do not speak your truth, many things happen that cause you to be inauthentic. You feel misunderstood because no one knows your honest opinion or thoughts; you get resentful with others because you are always trying to please them, but they never know what you want, so you never get your needs met.
One of the big things that happen when you don’t speak your truth is you want to escape social situations because putting on an act, faking your thoughts, and trying to please others, becomes so exhausting and filled with anxiety. You do not want to be around people and escape.
Speaking your truth and being authentic allows you to be free of that anxiety, pressure, and struggle, so you can easily be with others and no need to escape.
That feeling of not worrying about what you say, what you do, or how people might think of you is very liberating and comfortable. It takes time and practice to learn how to speak your truth, but the more you do it, the easier it gets, and in no time, it will just be who you are!
Suppose you are someone who feels like they need to stay in their comfort zone because you do not want to do anything that is not expected of you. You always wanted to do something but felt others would not approve or think differently of you, so you decide not to go out of your comfort zone.
That is a good indication you are not being authentic because you are not doing what you want. Feeling comfortable with being you allows you to step out of your comfort zone and do the things you want, ask for what you need, and say what you believe in.
It will lead to you living life fully, engaged with your true spirit, and bring you such joys and accomplishments that you will want to be out of your comfort zone more often and celebrate it.
No one is perfect, and to expect to be perfect is unrealistic and will only lead to disappointment and your inner voice telling you that you are not good enough, which leads to low self-esteem, low confidence, and inauthenticity.
If you feel like you need to think twice before speaking or doing something all the time because you may upset someone, then you are being inauthentic. I am not saying you need to blurt out everything you think and not consider hurting someone, but with respect, you can say and do as you feel, to be heard and get your needs met even if it may make them feel a certain way.
Asking people for advice, ideas, and solutions is a good plan and shows confidence, but always wanting to ask how someone else would do something and find you can’t decide without help. Always do what the other person suggested; no matter what, you are not being authentic.
To be authentic, you must consider others’ opinions and solutions but take the lead, and after you have heard the support, you decide to do what is right for you and what goes with your values and beliefs. Stay true to yourself and be confident that you are following your feelings, and it will turn out the way it is meant to; even if you did not get it right, you followed your beliefs, you did it your way, and now you have learned a better way!
If you are not being authentic, no one will ever know you. How can anyone know anyone who is not being their true self and showing their true feelings?
It is just not possible. In a way, true love can never be attained if you are not being authentic because someone may love the inauthentic person you are portraying, but that is not who you are, so they are not in love with you for who you are, so that can not be true love.
Be proud, confident, and authentic enough to expose your true self to the ones you love, and if it is true love, they will love you even more for the real person they see and now know, in all the glory and messy parts of you. If you allow others to see your authentic self, you will find you connect with people in a genuinely loving way.
You will connect with life more profoundly, which is engaging and curious. All your relationships with family, friends, and lovers will be more satisfying, less stressful, and mean more to both people. Let them know you, and the only way to do that is to be authentic and vulnerable.
Take a good look at all the signs of being authentic, and see how you feel about your authentic self—knowing that 85% of people lack most or all of these signs. The good news is that being authentic is something we all can do because it is who we are.
With the proper help and guidance, we can all get there. I have left a few links to help you get there at the end of this article. They are free to click on, and I am not selling anything. I want to get you started on this path, and I have found these links useful.
I will help you on your way, leave a comment in the comment box or email my email and let me know where you are and how I can help you become your authentic self. I will be happy to point you to all the great help that is out there without going through mountains of crap that is out there too. If I can help one person become authentic, I will be a very happy man!
My review of an online therapy website to support you on your journey: Online-Therapy.com.
My review of the Self-Therapy Journey website: Self Therapy Journey!
My review of the Self-Love Workbook: Self-Love Workbook.