How Not To Be Jealous In A Relationship.

Mans eye looking at two people kissing

When starting a relationship, it is often one of the first questions asked. “Are you the jealous type?” Not being jealous in a relationship is often about how you feel about yourself and not how the other person acts.

For us not to feel jealousy towards others, it is a matter of having great confidence and strong self-esteem. If you have those two things and are in good shape, jealousy will not be a factor.

Even if it is someone else and how they are acting, you will have the confidence to tell them how you feel, and if they do not stop, you will have the confidence to send them on their way.

What Is Jealousy In A Relationship? dictionary word

Jealousy can range from harmless and flattering to a serious problem and a mental health issue.

A little show of jealousy toward your partner can be flattering; let them know you love them and think highly of them. It may even be the jealousy of how good they are at doing something or at how they attract the attention of others, and you compliment them on that.

When jealousy turns into anxiety, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and obsession, it becomes a significant problem that needs to be addressed and fixed.

Signs You Have Too Much Jealousy. Man anxious with jealousy

  • You want to spend all your free time with your partner. It is healthy and great to want to spend time with your partner and have great adventures together, but when you do not respect that your partner has other interests and needs time away to pursue them, that is a sign of too much jealousy.
  • If you are looking for signs of cheating or always wanting to know what your partner is up to, by checking text messages, asking where they were, what they were doing, and wanting details of when they are not with you, that is a sign of too much jealousy.
  • It is a sign of too much jealousy if you start to criticize your partner’s outside interests and do not support them because they are not with you when pursuing their interest.
  • If you are concerned that your partner did not get back to you right away and think something is up because of it or think they are interested in something more than you because they did not get back to you, that is a sign of too much jealousy.
  • If you find yourself resenting someone because your partner is spending time with them, or saying nice things about someone, and wanting to break up that relationship no matter how innocent, just because it takes time away from you.
  • If you are stalking your partner’s social media accounts and trying to find something, anything to prove your suspicions, that is a sign you are too jealous.

Now, What Do I Do To Stop It? stop sign

If you have read the signs of too much jealousy and have decided that you are having those issues, what can you do to stop it before it ruins the relationship?

You can do many things to stop this jealousy, but foremost, you will want to start to get your confidence and self-esteem back to good levels in your life.

I have many articles on doing just that on my website posted at the bottom of this article. I have many good suggestions for reading and websites that can help support you to be confident in yourself and who you are, so jealousy is not a factor, with links at the end of the article.

Two excellent websites to get support: Online Therapy and another excellent website for support: Self Therapy Journey.

Proven Tips to Start Right Away. two hands connecting

  • When you feel jealousy coming on, recognize it, and just let it be how you used to be, but you will no longer act on those feelings. So do something healthy to distract yourself; yoga, exercise walks, hikes, and meditation works great! In time you will be able to deal with the feelings of jealousy quickly, and they will become less frequent.
  • You are in a no-win situation when you think you can control your partner by saying things or doing things to prevent them from being themselves. The more you try to control someone, the more they want to leave. Stop it now!
  • Start every day with self-love, know you are valuable to the relationship, know your self-worth, have good self-esteem, and be confident in who you are and about your relationship! Write down how great you are and how great your relationship is every day. How strong you two are together and the great things you are together. Write it! Believe it!
  • Stop comparing yourself to everyone else; you are the one your partner wants, and you are the one who is special to them. Be confident and know you are the one. Be open and talk about how you are special to each other.
  • Understanding that jealousy will do the opposite of what you want is another way to stop it—knowing that by being jealous, you will be driving your partner farther away and lead to the end of the relationship. Jealousy never wins.
  • Understanding why you get jealous is a big part of overcoming it. When the feelings happen, examine them and try to understand them. When you know precisely why you are being triggered, you can prevent it in the future.
  • If part of your partner’s actions makes you jealous, it is very important to sit down and discuss it with respect. If you both know how each of you is feeling when your partner gets flirty or does something to trigger you, you both will know how each feels and how to prevent it in the future. Communication is HUGE!
  • Giving your partner all the freedom they want and need to be happy and content will only strengthen your relationship; as your partner is happy, they will want to continue being happy with you. If you control them and their freedom, they will become resentful and frustrated, which will show when they are with you.
  • Break the habit of jealous feelings; they say it takes two weeks to break a habit; I don’t know how long it takes, but as soon as you feel those jealous feelings, recognize it and break from it, break the habit.
  • Finally, if you find that jealousy is still taking over your life and relationship, seek the help of the books I recommend, and also seek the help of a therapist. Sit down with your partner and tell them why you need support, and if they love you, they will want to support you.

Conclusion. woman spreading arms to the sky

Jealousy can and will destroy relationships. There is no single case in history where jealousy has helped a relationship stay together and be caring, loving, and connected.

You are reading this article, so you know your jealousy, and you want to fix it. That is the most significant first step!! Practice the tips I have written, read the books I recommend, and try the online therapy websites I have linked to. Your jealousy will be under control in no time, and your relationship will be stronger than ever!

My review of a great online therapy website for support:

Books to support your journey: The Jealousy Cure, Insecure In Love, Overcoming Jealousy Workbook.

My review of the Self-Therapy Journey website:  Self Therapy Journey.

Eric man spreading arms to the sky

Email: Please email me here!

Website: Authentically Me Website!

Please feel free to leave a comment down below!


  1. Hey Eric
    I must say this is a great article and I have learned so much more on how not to be jealous.
    Although I have never considered myself to be the jealous type, by reading some of your information, I did have some small jealousy issues. This article has taught me what to look for when dating someone and those red flags that will tell me if the person is overly jealous.

    • Thank you, it is important for both to recognize when jealousy happens and take steps to get by it without suffering from either.

  2. Hey, You have really dug deep on the fact that is ruining relationships very badly. In fact, jealousy is not cursing only intimate relationships rather it is hazardous for any relationship you have with others.

    • Thank you for your comments, and yes, jealousy is toxic to all relationships, it needs to be recognized and stopped before it ruins relationships.

  3. Hey Eric,
    It’s a great article with lots of insights which we normally do not realize though we will be affected by jealousy. It’s gonna helpful to many of us to understand and take correct action to get rid of it.

    • Thank you for your comments. I do hope that we can all recognize jealousy and take the steps to get past it before it does ruin relationships.

      • Hi Jamale,
        Thank you, yes it is important to realize it is happening and stopping it before it destroys a good thing, whether it’s you or the other person, you need to address it and stop it.

  4. Hey,Very good and informative hit the nail on the head with this one. Jealousy can destroy a relationship before it starts.

  5. Very good article, helpful and informative for anyone willing to find balance and harmony in their relationships although something like that might not be easy at all for some of us.

    • I think it can be very hard for a lot of us. I believe it is very important to recognize it and do all you can to find a solution. There are great books, and therapy links here that can help. Please feel free to reach out to me as well in email and I can support you if you need extra support. Thank you for your comment!

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