How Not To Be Insecure In A Relationship

man worried

As with all my articles, I write about what I know, and this topic is very familiar to me. After experiencing insecurity and intimidation in a relationship, I wanted to know how not to be insecure in a relationship!

I did all the books, the courses, the therapy, and looked up everything I could find on the subject. This article is about what I found out and the best places to find your way back to having secure, open, engaged relationships!

Recognize It.sign saying be real

The first step to not being in an insecure relationship is recognizing that you are or were in one. I was so deep into the relationship and consumed by my insecurities inside it that I had no idea I was insecure in my relationship.

It had slowly developed over time. I became less and less comfortable expressing my thoughts and words in the relationship. I would always fear what the outcome of my words or actions would produce.

After a while, I said what she wanted to hear and did what she wanted to do so no conflict would happen. As a result, I became very insecure in the relationship because by being silent and not expressing my thoughts and needs, I had no idea who I was, what I needed, and where we were as a couple. So my insecurities would come up because I was in the dark about everything.

So really sit down and think about how you are feeling in a relationship, and if it feels like you are becoming insecure, you need to talk to your partner about it and let them know how you feel.

What To Do? Woman making heart sign with hands

In a relationship already: If you are already in a relationship and have discovered you are insecure, then the first step is to figure out why you are insecure and what support you will need from your partner to help you become a secure partner for them. I will be leaving links at the end of the article to help you become secure in a relationship.

Then when you have a plan, you can sit down and discuss with your partner how you are feeling, why you feel that way and what you need from them for support. If they are supportive and receptive to you, then learn how to become confident and secure with your partner.

If they are resistant or not willing to support you, it is time to think of separating yourself from the relationship. You can not become healthy without the support of your partner.

Out of an insecure relationship: If you are out of a relationship and have discovered that you were insecure or your partner was not supportive of your healing to be secure, then you need to start your journey for a healthy, secure relationship to come. The links at the end of this article will help support you on that journey.

Being single is the best time for you to start self-discovery of how you got to be insecure, what it looked like, and how to avoid it in future relationships. Finding out how you became insecure, what it looked like, and how to remove it from any relationship is challenging but essential to the health of relationships in the future.

Being Secure.woman flexing muscles

Here are some tips to know you are in a secure relationship:

  • You feel comfortable speaking your mind freely.
  • You express your thoughts and wants freely and openly.
  • You are open and honest about any problems you have or anything uncomfortable within the relationship.
  • You are secure in knowing how your partner feels and how you feel because of the open and honest communication.
  • You are comfortable being yourself, expressing how you feel, and doing as you like without fear or anxiety.
  • You discuss your thoughts and worries freely with your partner without judgment on either side.
  • Recognizing when you make mistakes, as we all do, and facing them with a respectful and heartfelt discussion with your partner. Let them know of your mistake, what you will do to improve it, and what you learned from it.
  • Finally, when you feel like you can be authentic, real, and make mistakes without judgment, or repercussions, then you can be secure in a relationship. Being vulnerable with open, honest talks is the key, and feeling supported.

How Do I Get Secure?sign saying be kind

Now that you have seen the signs and what being secure in a relationship looks like, it is time to take steps to get there for your current relationship or any future relationships you pursue.

  • Dig deep and find out who you are, your values, and your strengths and weaknesses. I have a lot of good articles on becoming authentic and getting to your best life on my website to help with this,
  • Becoming self-confident and building your self-esteem is essential for becoming secure in any relationship.
  • Know your worth in any relationship, you bring a lot to the table, and you need to be heard and supported fully.
  • Let go of any jealousy you may have, knowing that open, honest, and engaged communication will let you know there is nothing to be jealous of and that nothing will be left unsaid or for you to wonder about.
  • Feel free to be fully you, and let your partner be fully them; support each other but do not smother each other.
  • When all these steps feel good and you feel comfortable in all aspects of being authentic and confident in your relationship, you will know you are in a secure, loving relationship. Believe me; it is worth the effort to get there.

Conclusioncouple holding hands

Being insecure in a relationship is very difficult. I have been there and know firsthand how stressful and anxiety-filled it is. There is no good outcome to any relationship where someone feels insecure unless it is recognized and help is supported.

The links I am leaving below are all tested and tried by myself, and I have found them to be a great support and key to becoming the person who will be secure in any relationship I develop.

I am currently in a very supportive, open, honest, and engaged relationship that is very refreshing and worth every effort I made to get myself to feel confident, secure, and valued as being myself!

Feel free to leave a comment below, or email me with any questions or comments. I am here to support you in any way I can!

My review of the Self-Therapy Journey website: Self Therapy Journey.

My review of a very supportive therapy website:

Excellent books to support a secure relationship: Overcoming Anxiety In a Relationship,   Anxiety In Relationship

Eric man reaching to sunset

Email: Please email me here!

Website: Authentically Me Website!

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